Post by Caretaker on Jan 28, 2009 3:13:40 GMT -6
This is a piece which I am putting together to share with my married children.
Merle was teaching Sunday night through 1 Cor. 11, and I felt that they needed the balance and fuller understanding from Ephesians.
1 Cor. 11:
1: Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.
2: Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.
3: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
4: Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5: But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6: For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7: For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9: Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
10: For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
11: Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
12: For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of god.
13: Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
14: Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
15: But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
16: But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
This is the God ordained Godly order, but one should remember that Christ placed Himself under and adopted a subordinate role to God the Father, BUT Christ did not cease being God nor being equal to God the Father.
Let us examine what the Word further declares the Godly relationship of husband and wife to be:
Ephesians 5:
22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27: That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32: This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33: Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Christ loved the Church and He gave Himself for it!!!!
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church. Wives reverence(honor/respect) your husbands.
Ephesians 5:
15: See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16: Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17: Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
18: And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19: Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20: Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Paul's remarks about headship must be viewed against the background of servant-leadership. Within the context of Paul's assertion of the headship of husbands, he instructed them to "love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her"(Ephesians 5:25) and to "love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). The concept of headship does not work apart from submission to Christ. Many men who never consult a Bible otherwise are sometimes fond of citing Ephesians 5:22-23. If they ever bothered to read the rest of the context, they wouldn't be so eager to quote Paul.
A family cannot function without leadership. God has assigned the task of leadership to husbands. Our problems lie more in the realm of the abuse of authority and the misunderstanding of authority than the concept of authority itself. The Lord Jesus Christ must be first and foremost the head of the husband. If the husband has rejected Christ then the God ordained relationship is forfeited. The husband cannot be the spiritual head of the household without Christ. How often we see the woman as the spiritual leader of the family, the one who teaches the children the bible, the one who takes the children to church?
The woman was taken from the side of the man, NOT from the foot so as to be a footstool, nor from the head to have lordship over, but from the side so the two might become one and walk together in unity.
If the husband is an abuser of the wife and/or the children, he has forfeited his God-ordained position and responsibility to love as Christ loved.
If the husband is a drunkard, drug abuser, adulterer, gambles away the rent money, is slothful and refusing to provide for and nourish his family, he has forfeited his God ordained position to cherish and nourish.
www.trinitycrc.org/sermons/eph5v21f.html
What is God's will for husbands? God's will for husbands is that they are to be the head of the wife. But we need to make sure we know and understand exactly what headship in marriage is. Let's start out by saying what it isn't. There are some husbands who think that headship gives them total control over their wives and children. In the name of headship they are but tyrants who often brutalize and abuse those who are closest to them. Much to the church's shame there are far too many Christian husbands who have this kind of view of headship. They exercise total control over their wives and keep them under their thumbs. But no concept of headship can be further from the Biblical ideal than this. Husbands with this attitude are not showing themselves to be Spirit-filled. Husbands with this attitude are not remembering verse 21: "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Let me tell you right now, if your marriage is marked by tyranny and domination then you as a couple are not following the Lord's leading.
There has been much discussion as to the precise meaning of the Greek word translated as "head." Some say it means "source of" and others say it means "authority over." As is usually the case in such arguments, both sides are correct and the Greek word carries overtones of both. We come to this conclusion because of Christ.
Paul says to us,
(Eph 5:23) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
As head of the church Christ is not merely its source but also its Lord. He gives the church its life and also rules it. The husband is the head of the wife in the same way as Christ is the head of the church. Accordingly, the husband is both the source of and has authority over his wife.
The husband is head of the wife. This refers, first of all, to a headship of rule. In other words, the husband has authority over his wife. But this is a spiritual authority, what we know as a direction-setting authority. The husband, in other words, is responsible to and before God for the direction the family takes. Someday he will have to answer to God for the spiritual lifestyle of his family. Someday he will have to answer to God for the frequency or infrequency of family devotions, attendance at worship services, giving of time and money to the church and kingdom, and the kind of education his children receive.
The husband is head of the wife. This means it is he who is first of all responsible for whether the family pursues a materialistic or a religious vision of life. It is he who is first of all responsible for whether the family pursues a life of pleasure or whether it pursues Christ. It is he who must set the standard for other family members to follow in pursuing the kingdom and its righteousness.
The husband is head of the wife. This refers, secondly, to a headship of source. The husband, in other words, is the source supplying the wife with the sustenance, energy, and guidance necessary. The image that Paul uses is that of a body.
(Eph 5:28-29) In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (29) After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church ...
Husband and wife are a unity, they are one flesh. So the husband who loves himself – and we all do that quite naturally – will love and care for his wife.
The husband's goal, like Christ's with the church, is to make his wife radiant, holy and blameless, without stain or wrinkle or blemish (vs 27). The husband, as head, is to enable his wife to grow and mature in Christ. The husband, as head, is to seek his wife's best interests, seek her spiritual growth, and seek to encourage her to exercise all her gifts in the service of the church and kingdom. The husband, as head, is to encourage his wife to be everything the Lord wants her to be.
The real focus of our passage is not on the headship itself, but on the way it is to be carried out. Of the 12 verses of our passage, 9 deal with this concern. Again I say what I said before: the husband's headship is not to be exercised in a domineering, dominating, abusive sort of way in which the wife has no personality, thoughts, feelings, or identity of her own. Over and over again Paul wants to impress on husbands that they are to be like Christ. In exercising their headship, husbands are to be like Christ. They are to show themselves as being Spirit-filled. They are to remember verse 21: "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Men, if you are to follow the Lord's leading in your marriage, you are to be like Christ. Men, if you are to follow the Lord's leading in your marriage, your headship is to be exercised in the same way as Christ's.
What is the Lord's leading here? In three separate statements the Lord tells the men what he expects of them as husbands: love her, love her, love her (vs 25, 28, 33). A husband is to exercise his headship in and out of love. And in this love he is to be like Christ. Paul says,
(Eph 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ...
In His great love for the church, Christ gave of Himself. He gave of His body and blood upon the cross. Likewise, says Scripture, the husband, in his great love for his wife, is to give of himself. He is to sacrifice for his wife. He is to serve his wife. In other words, God's leading in marriage is for the husband to take the lead in exhibiting Christ-like behavior of service and self-sacrifice. God's leading in marriage means that in exercising the responsibility and authority of headship the husband must take the lead in being like Christ.
How many husbands are like this? How many husbands make sacrifices for their wife? How many husbands take the lead in imaging Christ?
Robertson McQuilkin, former president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary. Robertson's wife gradually succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's disease. Early in the disease, Robertson decided to resign his presidency of the flourishing college and seminary he had nourished for nearly two decades. He chose to care for his wife. It was his privilege and his duty as head to do this. "Why?" you ask. Because he was supposed to love her, and give himself up for her, "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Again I ask, how many husbands are like this? Within the church there are too many widows. I'm not talking about women whose husbands have died. I'm talking about golf widows, or hunting and fishing widows, or work widows, or even church and kingdom widows. These women have husbands who spend all their time and energy on their recreation and sports, on the church and kingdom, on the job or career, and have no time or energy left to give of themselves for their wife. If that is the state of your marriage, let me tell you, you are not following the Lord's leading in your marriage.
Four or five years ago TIME magazine carried the story of one of the most successful mutual-fund directors of our time. Under his excellent management customers received 20%+ on their money. In a few years he built up the fund from a few million to a few billion dollars. He stunned the investment world by announcing his retirement. His reason: he wanted to spend more time with his family.
Now I don't know if this man is a Christian or not. But he certainly sounds like one for he was exhibiting the self-sacrificing love of Christ Himself for the sake of his family.
To sum up, God's will, God's leading, in marriage is that the husband should exercise a direction-setting role. He is to encourage and sustain his wife in her walk with God. And this headship is to be carried out in a loving, self-sacrificial way. If this is done, then the husband shows himself to be filled with the Spirit of Christ.
God's will, God's leading, in marriage is also that the wife is to submit to her husband's headship.
(Eph 5:22-24) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (24) Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
What is this submission? Are we to think of the wife as a slave, cowering in fear before her husband? Is his every wish to be her command? Is she considered to be an inferior and he the superior? Is she supposed to offer her husband a blind obedience? The answer is no, no, no, and no! Husbands and wives with this attitude are not showing themselves to be Spirit-filled. Husbands and wives with this attitude do not "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Let me tell you again, if this is the pattern in your marriage then you are not following the Lord's leading in your marriage.
Paul says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." In other words, submission – like headship – is to be Christ-centered. The wife submits to her husband's leadership not because her husband is so perfect – for he isn't. Not because he is so strong – even though he may be. But for the sake of the Lord. Out of devotion to the Lord. Because she is filled with the Spirit of the Lord. In other words, the wife's submission is to be joyful and voluntary. The wife's submission, like the church's to Christ, is to be heartfelt and sincere.
This is not an easy thing that Paul is asking a wife to do. Rather, it is a tall and demanding order. Especially in today's world. It is obvious to me, at least, that many women are more talented than their husbands, more gifted, better leaders, and more spiritually mature. In today's climate of equal rights and women's liberation, it is very difficult for such women to submit to their husbands. Does Paul and Jesus actually expect them to submit? Yes.
There are lots of women who are wiser, better educated, and more successful than their husbands. Are they expected to submit? Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Not because they have to but because they want to. Not because the husband is better or stronger but because this is God's will. Christian wives, as Spirit-filled women, are to joyfully and willingly submit to the loving, sacrificial leadership of their husbands.
The marriage relationship is supposed to model the way God relates to His people. A Spirit-filled husband is to give loving, sacrificial leadership to his family just like Christ does to the church; the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. And, a Spirit-filled wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.
A Spirit-filled husband and a Spirit-filled wife are to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Merle was teaching Sunday night through 1 Cor. 11, and I felt that they needed the balance and fuller understanding from Ephesians.
1 Cor. 11:
1: Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.
2: Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.
3: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
4: Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5: But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6: For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7: For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9: Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
10: For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
11: Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
12: For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of god.
13: Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
14: Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
15: But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
16: But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
This is the God ordained Godly order, but one should remember that Christ placed Himself under and adopted a subordinate role to God the Father, BUT Christ did not cease being God nor being equal to God the Father.
Let us examine what the Word further declares the Godly relationship of husband and wife to be:
Ephesians 5:
22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27: That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28: So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32: This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33: Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Christ loved the Church and He gave Himself for it!!!!
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church. Wives reverence(honor/respect) your husbands.
Ephesians 5:
15: See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16: Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17: Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
18: And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19: Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20: Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Paul's remarks about headship must be viewed against the background of servant-leadership. Within the context of Paul's assertion of the headship of husbands, he instructed them to "love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her"(Ephesians 5:25) and to "love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). The concept of headship does not work apart from submission to Christ. Many men who never consult a Bible otherwise are sometimes fond of citing Ephesians 5:22-23. If they ever bothered to read the rest of the context, they wouldn't be so eager to quote Paul.
A family cannot function without leadership. God has assigned the task of leadership to husbands. Our problems lie more in the realm of the abuse of authority and the misunderstanding of authority than the concept of authority itself. The Lord Jesus Christ must be first and foremost the head of the husband. If the husband has rejected Christ then the God ordained relationship is forfeited. The husband cannot be the spiritual head of the household without Christ. How often we see the woman as the spiritual leader of the family, the one who teaches the children the bible, the one who takes the children to church?
The woman was taken from the side of the man, NOT from the foot so as to be a footstool, nor from the head to have lordship over, but from the side so the two might become one and walk together in unity.
If the husband is an abuser of the wife and/or the children, he has forfeited his God-ordained position and responsibility to love as Christ loved.
If the husband is a drunkard, drug abuser, adulterer, gambles away the rent money, is slothful and refusing to provide for and nourish his family, he has forfeited his God ordained position to cherish and nourish.
www.trinitycrc.org/sermons/eph5v21f.html
What is God's will for husbands? God's will for husbands is that they are to be the head of the wife. But we need to make sure we know and understand exactly what headship in marriage is. Let's start out by saying what it isn't. There are some husbands who think that headship gives them total control over their wives and children. In the name of headship they are but tyrants who often brutalize and abuse those who are closest to them. Much to the church's shame there are far too many Christian husbands who have this kind of view of headship. They exercise total control over their wives and keep them under their thumbs. But no concept of headship can be further from the Biblical ideal than this. Husbands with this attitude are not showing themselves to be Spirit-filled. Husbands with this attitude are not remembering verse 21: "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Let me tell you right now, if your marriage is marked by tyranny and domination then you as a couple are not following the Lord's leading.
There has been much discussion as to the precise meaning of the Greek word translated as "head." Some say it means "source of" and others say it means "authority over." As is usually the case in such arguments, both sides are correct and the Greek word carries overtones of both. We come to this conclusion because of Christ.
Paul says to us,
(Eph 5:23) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
As head of the church Christ is not merely its source but also its Lord. He gives the church its life and also rules it. The husband is the head of the wife in the same way as Christ is the head of the church. Accordingly, the husband is both the source of and has authority over his wife.
The husband is head of the wife. This refers, first of all, to a headship of rule. In other words, the husband has authority over his wife. But this is a spiritual authority, what we know as a direction-setting authority. The husband, in other words, is responsible to and before God for the direction the family takes. Someday he will have to answer to God for the spiritual lifestyle of his family. Someday he will have to answer to God for the frequency or infrequency of family devotions, attendance at worship services, giving of time and money to the church and kingdom, and the kind of education his children receive.
The husband is head of the wife. This means it is he who is first of all responsible for whether the family pursues a materialistic or a religious vision of life. It is he who is first of all responsible for whether the family pursues a life of pleasure or whether it pursues Christ. It is he who must set the standard for other family members to follow in pursuing the kingdom and its righteousness.
The husband is head of the wife. This refers, secondly, to a headship of source. The husband, in other words, is the source supplying the wife with the sustenance, energy, and guidance necessary. The image that Paul uses is that of a body.
(Eph 5:28-29) In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (29) After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church ...
Husband and wife are a unity, they are one flesh. So the husband who loves himself – and we all do that quite naturally – will love and care for his wife.
The husband's goal, like Christ's with the church, is to make his wife radiant, holy and blameless, without stain or wrinkle or blemish (vs 27). The husband, as head, is to enable his wife to grow and mature in Christ. The husband, as head, is to seek his wife's best interests, seek her spiritual growth, and seek to encourage her to exercise all her gifts in the service of the church and kingdom. The husband, as head, is to encourage his wife to be everything the Lord wants her to be.
The real focus of our passage is not on the headship itself, but on the way it is to be carried out. Of the 12 verses of our passage, 9 deal with this concern. Again I say what I said before: the husband's headship is not to be exercised in a domineering, dominating, abusive sort of way in which the wife has no personality, thoughts, feelings, or identity of her own. Over and over again Paul wants to impress on husbands that they are to be like Christ. In exercising their headship, husbands are to be like Christ. They are to show themselves as being Spirit-filled. They are to remember verse 21: "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Men, if you are to follow the Lord's leading in your marriage, you are to be like Christ. Men, if you are to follow the Lord's leading in your marriage, your headship is to be exercised in the same way as Christ's.
What is the Lord's leading here? In three separate statements the Lord tells the men what he expects of them as husbands: love her, love her, love her (vs 25, 28, 33). A husband is to exercise his headship in and out of love. And in this love he is to be like Christ. Paul says,
(Eph 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ...
In His great love for the church, Christ gave of Himself. He gave of His body and blood upon the cross. Likewise, says Scripture, the husband, in his great love for his wife, is to give of himself. He is to sacrifice for his wife. He is to serve his wife. In other words, God's leading in marriage is for the husband to take the lead in exhibiting Christ-like behavior of service and self-sacrifice. God's leading in marriage means that in exercising the responsibility and authority of headship the husband must take the lead in being like Christ.
How many husbands are like this? How many husbands make sacrifices for their wife? How many husbands take the lead in imaging Christ?
Robertson McQuilkin, former president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary. Robertson's wife gradually succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's disease. Early in the disease, Robertson decided to resign his presidency of the flourishing college and seminary he had nourished for nearly two decades. He chose to care for his wife. It was his privilege and his duty as head to do this. "Why?" you ask. Because he was supposed to love her, and give himself up for her, "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Again I ask, how many husbands are like this? Within the church there are too many widows. I'm not talking about women whose husbands have died. I'm talking about golf widows, or hunting and fishing widows, or work widows, or even church and kingdom widows. These women have husbands who spend all their time and energy on their recreation and sports, on the church and kingdom, on the job or career, and have no time or energy left to give of themselves for their wife. If that is the state of your marriage, let me tell you, you are not following the Lord's leading in your marriage.
Four or five years ago TIME magazine carried the story of one of the most successful mutual-fund directors of our time. Under his excellent management customers received 20%+ on their money. In a few years he built up the fund from a few million to a few billion dollars. He stunned the investment world by announcing his retirement. His reason: he wanted to spend more time with his family.
Now I don't know if this man is a Christian or not. But he certainly sounds like one for he was exhibiting the self-sacrificing love of Christ Himself for the sake of his family.
To sum up, God's will, God's leading, in marriage is that the husband should exercise a direction-setting role. He is to encourage and sustain his wife in her walk with God. And this headship is to be carried out in a loving, self-sacrificial way. If this is done, then the husband shows himself to be filled with the Spirit of Christ.
God's will, God's leading, in marriage is also that the wife is to submit to her husband's headship.
(Eph 5:22-24) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (24) Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
What is this submission? Are we to think of the wife as a slave, cowering in fear before her husband? Is his every wish to be her command? Is she considered to be an inferior and he the superior? Is she supposed to offer her husband a blind obedience? The answer is no, no, no, and no! Husbands and wives with this attitude are not showing themselves to be Spirit-filled. Husbands and wives with this attitude do not "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Let me tell you again, if this is the pattern in your marriage then you are not following the Lord's leading in your marriage.
Paul says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." In other words, submission – like headship – is to be Christ-centered. The wife submits to her husband's leadership not because her husband is so perfect – for he isn't. Not because he is so strong – even though he may be. But for the sake of the Lord. Out of devotion to the Lord. Because she is filled with the Spirit of the Lord. In other words, the wife's submission is to be joyful and voluntary. The wife's submission, like the church's to Christ, is to be heartfelt and sincere.
This is not an easy thing that Paul is asking a wife to do. Rather, it is a tall and demanding order. Especially in today's world. It is obvious to me, at least, that many women are more talented than their husbands, more gifted, better leaders, and more spiritually mature. In today's climate of equal rights and women's liberation, it is very difficult for such women to submit to their husbands. Does Paul and Jesus actually expect them to submit? Yes.
There are lots of women who are wiser, better educated, and more successful than their husbands. Are they expected to submit? Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Not because they have to but because they want to. Not because the husband is better or stronger but because this is God's will. Christian wives, as Spirit-filled women, are to joyfully and willingly submit to the loving, sacrificial leadership of their husbands.
The marriage relationship is supposed to model the way God relates to His people. A Spirit-filled husband is to give loving, sacrificial leadership to his family just like Christ does to the church; the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. And, a Spirit-filled wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.
A Spirit-filled husband and a Spirit-filled wife are to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
