DEATH OF AN OLD FRIEND

[Murph]

Saw this on a couple of other MBs. Author is unknown.

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DEATH OF AN OLD FRIEND

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student - but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

[Murph]

Yeah ole Duck is ramblin again...she gets into trouble doin' that

but also finds neat stuff to share...

;D

[Caretaker]

Good stuff Sis, good stuff.

Keep-on ramblin'.

[Steve]

The New Bill of Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from
Cobb County, Georgia.

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the
blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some
common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional, and other liberal bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill
of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone not just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a
life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk
their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you'd like; however, we do not enjoy parenting the entire
world, and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and
every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all
of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is
a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

If You Agree, We Strongly Urge You To Forward This To As Many People As
You Can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you
should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense
is allowed to flourish.


Call it The Age Of Reason revisited.

[cindy]

Because of Common Sense being dead, you all get to hear some of my adventures in teaching. Off and on I have worked as a Special Education Teacher Assistant, now known as a Para Professional. I worked at the YWCA Shelter school one year in which we taught the children ages K-12 who were staying at the shelter so they would not fall behind in school. The main reason was if they lost too many days they would not be promoted. It was like a one room schoolhouse in the basement.

One day, my supervisor had to go to a seminar, and the substitute did not show up. I had some very "behaviorally challenged children" LOL See how political correctness has taken over our language.

I made it through 2 1/2 hours with the point system by rewarding them with points in which they could exchange for Happy Meal Toys, had one half hour left when Simone (fake name) stands on a chair and tares her work in half and throws it on the floor. I tell her to get down off of the chair and sit down. She proceeded to tell me"Make me!" I said in the most authoritative voice I could muster "Simone, I told you to sit down now." She said "I know my rights, you are not allowed to touch me." I looked across the room and the After school Teacher was there, so I winked for help. She came over and "Negotiated with Simone and then went in a room to air the grievance" I kid you not!

Unfortunately by the end of Simone's stay at the YWCA she had mellowed out and when the family was finally asked to move as they were too much trouble. She just cried. She wanted to stay. I told her "Honey, why didn't you just listen when you had the chance?" She just melted in my arms as I told her that she was worth something. Please believe that, you don't have to scream and holler to get attention. "I love you, and Jesus loves you!" Yes I said that. I hope it made a difference.

In Christ,
Cindy

[Murph]

I pray it made a difference too Cindy. And God Bless you and that little girl.

I have tremendous respect for teachers today especially those who work with special education children. Most of them are children whose parents don't teach them at home to act like human beings so teachers wind up keeping the zoo...teaching has ended up way down on the list of priorities.

OOOOOH the stories I could tell as a Probation and Parole Officer...would curl your toes...raise the hair on the back of your neck...

[babysteps]

I like that one ;D